Nitrorail — it’s a . . . thing.


The print ad for the Nitrorail claims that it offers “unparalleled performance and behaves just like a normal bicycle, but with the added flair of a truly unique, beautiful design.”

I looked for videos of people riding these, with no luck. Their website (at has a few still photos, none of which resolved my confusion.

Grownup on Nitrorail, doing . . . something.

Grownup on Nitrorail, doing . . . something.

Child on Nitrorail, doing . . . something.

Child on Nitrorail, doing . . . something.

Is it a trick bike? Why does it have tailpipes? How come the kickstand is down in the second photo when the kid is on the bike? Who do they think is going to pay $999 for this?

1 thought on “Nitrorail — it’s a . . . thing.

  1. Gary

    This is by far the best thing EVER posted on WheeledThing – and we have found some pretty awful crap. For this $1K bike, I first direct you to their twitter feed – @nitrorail where they have zero tweets.

    Then I direct you to the specs listed on Skymall, which I could not make any worse If I wrote them myself:

    – High grip, stainless steel pedals (You know we all need stainless pedals)
    – Rapid fire dual paddle Shimano shifter, smooth, precise gear changing control (Dual paddle so you can ushift AND downshift)
    Shimano Alfine 8 speed internally geared hub. Awesome hill climbing power with no sacrifice to top end speed. Wide range gear selection with a total gear ratio of 307% (It is widely known that 307% is the perfect gear ratio)
    Lightweight, finger tip brake levers (You know, the most important thing with a brake levers is the weight)
    Sleek, comfortable seats with height adjustment (Unlike most bikes with a fixed seat height)
    Ground gripping Massive 20 x 4-1/4 Kenda Dragster rear tire.
    Drag style 12.5 x 2-1/4 Kenda front tire. (As fat wheels go slower than skinny wheels, we have to point out these wheels are really fat)
    Huge round 1.625 O.D.(outside diameter) tubing. Our unique design frame is mandrel bent and TIG welded. The dragster style frame also incorporates a wild quad exhaust tip look. (If you don’t bend it with a mandrel, don’t bother)
    Gigantic 203mm disc brake rotor. “Stop on a dime with 9 cents change” braking power. (This is ideal for flipping over your handlebars)
    High performance steering universal joint with double rolled rubber dust boot. (Dust boot? I prefer rain boots? Is this bike designed for the desert?)
    Stainless Steel polished drag link with TIG welded rod ends and race car HEIM joints. These high quality components give the Nitro Rail “precision no-play steering control” (WTF)
    Sleek light weight Triple tree round tube front fork with custom head tube cover and Stainless steel hardware. (More stainless steel, as we all know that is very important on a bike)
    TIG welded Stainless Steel pitman arm with mechanical steering stop. (pitman, did you say pitman?)
    Dual Point Kickstand (Yes, they saved the best for last – what good is a bike without an awsome kickstand!)

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