Monthly Archives: October 2014

Rumor has it that several of their beta-testers survived

But wait, there is more – The Bike Snowboard


Yes, for the low, low price of $399.95, you can strap a “ski” onto your front wheel of your bike and let the fun begin!  Now you can flip over the handlebars before crashing into your favorite tree.  I’m sure the guys running the ski lift won’t mind at all, as you lug your bicycle up the mountain.

For when golf is just too hard

The Ride On Golf Cart Scooter


If you think the worst part of the boring game of golf is the walking part, hey, just drop $4.5K and pick up this scooter with a hook that can hold a golf bag.  I’m sure with this you can cut down the number of calories burned during a golf outing by at least 50%!  The best part is it will also hold a beverage!

Our competitors at Hammacher Schlemmer take to the skies

WheeledThing scours the globe to discover products with wheels that for some dumb reason are in mass production.  Little did we realize that Hammacher Schlemmer is our biggest competitor.  In honor of their prolific catalog, the following post will highlight (or should I say lowlight) their best WheeledThings!

The “First” Flying Bicycle


Now this seems to be a tricycle, backpack and fan all bolted together.  I guess if you pedal hard, turn on the fan, and are on a huge incline you may be airborne for a couple of seconds.   The price is only $45K, so if the fall does not kill you, maybe the price tag will.  I’m guessing that $45K also includes ambulance service.   I don’t expect this to replace your LearJet, but hey, if you’re lucky it won’t kill you.

Perfect if you like to be close to the ground and rolling backwards

The Reverse Gear Cruiser


This is marketing at its finest.  The lack of gears is being sold as a feature, not a bug!  Yes, it’s a fixie, recumbent trike!  I’m guessing there may be two or three people in Florida who want to buy one of these things.  And being able to back up is a feature?  Did you ever hear of pushing the trike backwards?

If anyone has access to the sales volume of HS, I’d love to know if they sell any of these.  Maybe some bored Arab sheiks are buying them to help their servants service the camels?!?

I’m sure HS has more gems in their vast catalog, but I think that is enough for now.

Kung Fu Grips, baby!

Dudes, I’m sorry for straying from our core mission, but this is the best name ever… or until we find a better one “Kung Fu Grips” and they are for BMX bikes.


They seem to be vibration absorbing or something… but who cares.

I think I have a new tag line, “Needs more Kung Fu Grip”!

We’ll Have Fun, Fun, Fun… until the battery dies

Now, don’t get me wrong, these bikes look cool… and if I had a spare $30K sitting around, I might buy two.


These are perfect for the guys who like to buy one way tickets, or prefer the 1/2 marathon.

Two hours per charge?  Really?  You could not have beefed up the battery a little bit?  Since most people don’t have a dirt bike track in their back yard, your proposing they head out for two hours and head home.  Pass me the pedal bike or the gas can… I think the folks at Alta should have delayed this launch.

  • POWER (HP)   25/40 *
  • EST. RANGE   2 HRS **
  • TOP SPEED   80 MPH ***




Veloloop – A Kickstarter that does not suck!

Now, you only need this thing if you live in suburbia and there are traffic signals that only change when a car rolls up.

“Instead of waiting at intersections for a car to come along and trigger the traffic sensors, you can trigger them yourself with the Veloloop! The Veloloop attaches to your bike and detects when you’re at an intersection and triggers the sensor just like a car does.”



Now if they can only add some additional features like shooting “frickin lasers” at any car that comes to close to you… or maybe disables the engine of a car after it strikes you to prevent hit and run crashes…. Or maybe just include a bottle opener… ‘cmon guys.


Poo-powered motorcycle

If you have ever seen the movie Idiocracy you know that it was only a matter of time until this product was invented. The only real surprise is that it wasn’t invented by and for Americans.

Poo powered bike


The Panjandrum was an experimental weapon developed in the U.K. during WWII. It’s a pair of large wheels with rockets attached to them that roll it at great speed towards a target. Upon reaching the target, the payload (a large bomb) detonates. Here is actual footage of a prototype being tested:

Given how rapidly the thing spins out of control, it should be no surprise that the Panjandrum was never brought to the battlefield. Evidently, the English have claimed that they never really intended to use it, and the tests were intended only to confuse the Nazis. Possible, I suppose. That would explain why they’re testing it on a public beach where it nearly murders a friendly dog.

I’m a little surprised these were never picked up by the Monster Truck crowd in the United States.