Category Archives: Not quite skates

Segway, making transportation embarrassing since 2001

Segway is most famous for the embarrassing “Segway PT” scooter for overweight tourists and mall cops. The company has rolled along in embarrassing fashion, much like their signature product — they sold out to one of their distributors for pennies on the dollar in 2009 and he literally rode one of the devices off a cliff and died in 2010, and his estate sold the company to a private equity firm in 2013, which in turn dumped it on a Chinese competitor in 2015.

And the Chinese competitor is working hard to come up with new products worth of Segway’s cringe-inducing brand name.

The mellifluously named Segway Ninebot Drift W1 Electric Hovershoes
If you are rich and hate somebody, leave these under the Xmas tree for them.

Anything I would say would be pale compared to the reviews of actual owners…

“After less than 3 months of riding the tread on one shoe is separating from the hub, causing a nasty wobble. Segway support does not answer their phone, and they do not respond to the emails to technical support that their phone system says to use “for the fastest service.”

“Very difficult to get a hang of it. Lack of resources and training and manual make learning rather challenging. Also the build quality is a bit unfortunate.”

“Junk. That is all I have to say.”

“No good”

For updates on this fine product, check out the Amazon reviews. Segway’s newest marvel is on sale at the moment for only $300!

AeYO!

“AeYO!” is the sound you’ll make when you hear the price 648 Euros or when you hit the ground in a heap after wiping out on this bike/skates combo that is neither a bike nor skates but something in between. Who thought it would be good to strap more restrictive things to your skates?

From http://www.aeyo.com/

 

Skates-board

Like a snakeboard, except different:

Stern here — That video is pretty impressive. I’ve seen these in the wild a couple of times in New York, but nothing as slick as that. These “drift skates” are only $36 direct from China, but my survival instinct prevents me from ordering a pair.

Gary’s turn: This video is truly amazing.  I did notice all of the pavement was high quality smooth.  Not typical street asphalt, but they look great.  In a quick search I discovered:

1- Amazon is selling (what appear to be) high quality Freelance Skates for $100+

2 – Wikipedia seems to think that Freeline Skates is the original manufacturer and has a reference to www.freelineskates.com/store/c-1-skates.aspx

3 – Freelineskates.com is dead

4 – The Freeline Sports, Inc.page on Facebook lists the company as “Permanently closed” and the last posting was in 2014.

The fad was over before it began.  I wonder if there is a serious face-plant that caused the collapse of the Freeline empire.  Could this be the next Hoverboard – an idea without an owner and lots of cheap crappy knockoffs?

 

 

EZ-SK8 Adjustable Strap on Heel Skates. So stupid, but so cheap!

Imagine you want to zoom around town on skates but not want the hassle of changing into shoes when you reach your destination. Convertible skates have been on the market for decades. We have discussed several models on WheeledThing, with the regretful conclusion that they basically always suck.

The team behind the EZ-SK8 Adjustable Strap on Heel Skate has decided to remove any uncertainty about their product — one look and you will know for sure, these things suck too.

Strap that to your sneakers. I dare you.

Strap that to your sneakers. I dare you.

They’re the smallest skate converters I’ve ever seen (just two wheels), and the cheapest looking by far. They presumably give a ride similar to that from Heelys, with the user cantered back onto his or her heels.

For the sake of God, please wear a helmet when using these.

For the sake of God, please wear a helmet when using these.

My mockery must be tempered with the observation that these skates cost only $12 including shipping. That’s so inexpensive, I might buy a pair to try out.

No, probably not.

No, probably not.