Category Archives: Crowdsourced

Better Face Plants with Electricity

This Scooter Packs a Punch! (direct quote)

If there is one thing we know at Wheeled Thing, it’s that when it comes to wheels, bigger is better.  Big wheels roll over cracks or potholes that a smaller wheel will get stuck in.  Big means they ride smoother that don’t have speed wobbles…

One of our biggest frustration with the Razor Scooter fad was the fact the wheels were way to small, and sent too many children to the hospital for facial reconstruction surgery.

Well, plastic surgeons of Ameraica… I’ve got great news for you – The Eon Scooter will soon be flinging kids off their scooters at speeds up to 45 mph!

 

The video on their Indigogo page is 1:30 in length.  Of that time, only 20 seconds (with some of in slow motion), show the person riding the scooter.  35 seconds are shown with the owner dragging or charging the scooter.  That’s right, expect to be dragging this thing around more than riding it.

Included Dork Mode

We urge you not to buy this rolling death trap… but our friends at Eon were kind enough to include a “folding mirror” which will help you to remove the gavel from your chin and  repair your front teeth.  At Starbucks they hate when you walk in with exposed face road rash.

Please clean the blood off your face before entering the office

Futuristic Robot Suitcase

I try so hard not to mock entrepreneurs, but then things like this happen.

Yes, sexy women everywhere will soon be swooning over dorky guys and their robot suitcases, that is until the robot suitcase trips a little old lady in the airport and crushing legal bills leave him homeless.

SURPRISE! That will never happen and the dorky man’s fortune is secure. This is because the Indigogo campaign behind this product will surely fail and he will lose only his $399 pledge.

Bike Dumb, Lock Smart

Here at Wheeled Thing, we’ve looked at smart bikes, smart pedals, smart grips, smart scooters and smart glasses.  Our friends at Skylock think they’re all stupid… you should get a smart lock!

skylock

Skylock suggests you should buy a smart lock – so if you lose your keys you can still unlock your bike with your phone.  Alternatively, if you lose your phone, not only can’t you call someone for help, but you also can’t ride your bike home either!

Skylock states that the lock will send you a text message if someone is “tampering” with the lock – just like those damn car alarms!  I know I feel sad that my bike does not annoy me when people accidentally bump into it.

But wait, there’s more….there’s a crash alert which will text your friends when you drop your lock… or crash, and you can also give access for other people to use your bike without sharing your keys.  I’ve always felt that it’s so hard to hand someone else your keys.

Dunno… I’m pretty happy with my dumb lock.

The Daymak Photon Scooter, with integrated boombox and a solar panel you stand on

Daymak plans to introduce a new electric scooter call “The Photon”. It’s like every other electric scooter except it’s somewhat uglier, somewhat slower (max speed 9.3mph), somewhat heavier (37.5 pounds), somewhat more expensive ($299, or $499 with a lithium battery), and it expects you to stand on a solar panel.

I swear to God, I'm not making this up.

I swear to God, I’m not making this up.

And assuming you aren’t blocking the panel with, you know, your feet, and haven’t cracked the panel by standing on it, or gotten dirt on it from your shoes, and never go inside, it will charge the scooter in only 17 hours!

How relaxing, waiting 17 hours for your scooter to charge.

How relaxing, waiting 17 hours for your scooter to charge.

It also has a built-in boombox.

Because why not?

Because why not?

Coolpeds Air “Smart Scooter” may not be so smart

The Coolpeds Air “Smart Scooter” is like every other electric scooter you’ve ever seen.

Seriously, it's so generic you'd thing there would be nothing to make fun of. You'd be wrong, though.

Seriously, it’s so generic you’d thing there would be nothing to make fun of. You’d be wrong, though.

The “inventors” (this is an indiegogo project, so that should be understood to mean “the people who are importing this from some factory in Shenzhen and slapping their logo on it”) claim that this is the lightest electric scooter, which might be interesting except that the very first competing scooter I looked up is lighter (14lbs versus 14.4lbs).

I discovered the existence of this thing only because somebody came to wheeledthing.com after googling for it. Which leads to this question — why would anybody google for this scooter?

Smarthalo — another f*cking smart bike kickstarter

So you attach the SmartHalo to your handlebars (or you tape a printout of their photoshop of what they think it’s going to look like, which is the same thing so far),

If it's this ugly in their fake product renderings, you *know* it's going to look like a broken toaster in real life.

If it’s this ugly in their fake product renderings, you *know* it’s going to look like a broken toaster in real life.

It automatically turns on your headlamp when it gets dark, and if you use your smart phone to tell it where you’re going, it flashes lights at you to tell you where to turn. And, my favorite, it tells you when it’s raining. You know, because it’s so hard to tell when you’re on a bicycle.

Weather Alerts Heads up: nasty thunderstorm incoming! Be warned when weather conditions turn ugly so you can better plan your trips.

Weather Alerts
Heads up: nasty thunderstorm incoming! Be warned when weather conditions turn ugly so you can better plan your trips.

Verrado electric drift trike

We’ve made fun of drift trikes before. And of course, where there’s a bad idea, there’s a Kickstarter project somewhere to overcharge you for a trivial variation. In this case, to charge you $1700 for an electric drift trike.

"Bob said he wanted this Big Wheel™ to look 'noble." This is as close as I could get."

“Bob said he wanted this Big Wheel™ to look ‘noble.” This is as close as I could get.”

Giving credit where credit it due, after completing the Kickstarter gauntlet, this thing seems actually to have come to market.

They’ve released a video which, as is normal for these sorts of projects, consists mostly of people talking about the trike. However you do see it being used a bit. It looks like it would be fun for a few days before it got boring, which is better than a lot of other WheeledThings.

On sale now for $1200!

Not Tsetse Fly… FlyKly

Do you love your bike, but hate pedaling it?
Are you the kind of person who says, I really want to grow my love handles.

Well, if you want to keep your bike, but add the pounds, FlyKly is the product for you!

According to flykly.com, Niko Klansek, who is based in NY, wants to provide you with a “pedal assist wheel”, to make “your commute easier, faster and smarter”.  I guess it’s the anti-fixie. Instead of making your bike cheaper and simpler, lets slap in a motor, computer and battery!

When you think hi-tech electronics, what country comes to mind first!  Italy!  That is right, the FlyKly is made in Milan, Italy, but assembled in NYC.  No wonder this little thing cost $1,000.  For only $200 more you can get a charger for it, which is “recommended”.  How else to you charge this thing up?  My favorite line from their sales pitch is, “Any custom duties or other associated taxes and charges are the responsibility of the customer.” – Do these guys plan to merge with SledDogs?

For some reason you can test the FlyKly in Slovenia (bottom of page) but not NYC.

Oh yeah, these guys raised $700,000 on Kickstarter. FlyKLY